What defines you?

Today I have some deep heart issues churning to get out and onto...anything really. Today, it's this blog. For me, heart issues are feelings of the spirit that weigh on your chest and only lighten when you find a way to place them somewhere else.

 Someone very dear to me -in fact I love this person so much it makes me ache,  told me something many months ago that for some reason has resurfaced this afternoon.
" Ann, your career will define you."
Though it was meant with the best intentions, that line broke my heart.  Don't get me wrong - good careers  are tremendously important and I hope each of us find our calling, and if that's what defines you, it's ok, it's part of who you are.

But it is not what I will choose to define myself.

I think I should give a little of my background to give color to my point. I  come from a wonderful and supportive family who know what it takes to have a great career and really impact people's lives. They're amazing role models and human beings, and I have been blessed beyond what I deserve or understand. But because their careers often kept them late hours away from home, I spent many of my hours growing up under the wing of a grandparent who dearly loved my brother and I. She did a good job. But I missed my parents.

So after all that, here is my point. I really do hope I can earn a career that is incredible and that will inspire me and those around me. But I don't want it to be who I am. Though many surface things about me have changed over the years in my transition to adulthood, some of my traits are the same as when I was playing house in the big, beautiful box our dishwasher came in.

I'm a house mouse, a lover of things that grow and of those around me, and I want to be a family girl first, and foremost.
I want my children and family to define me, and give them all I can of myself. I want to be near them when they learn to walk and talk and discover the world. I want others to be able to look at my family and see a reflection of their parents' love and attention to them. I want them to know grace and be able to give it. I want to teach them everything I know about the Earth, God, loving people, broken hearts, joy, finger painting, the forever-staying power of glitter, tree climbing, and answer as many of their questions as I can. Lord know I know enough trivia to satisfy even the most persistent kid.


Obviously, I don't have a family yet, but I've always dreamed of them. I may be too idealistic, have a silly idea of what love is, and predict that my family will push me to what I will think is the end of my sanity - but they will teach me more than I can teach them about love, they will define me.