Grace (friends+heart issues)

props to miss Andrea Duarte who made this awesome mug!!

Today, as my roommate (a lovely social worker with a golden heart) would describe it, was a little bit too spicy. I learned some uncomfortable lessons about myself in how I deal (and sometimes don't) with people close to me, and speak without thought sometimes. And by close I mean my own friends. I have no wish to go into detail about my morning, but it ended in tears and confusion. And it was totally preventable if I had been more open with a darling friend of mine about somethings that had been weighing on my heart. But I told the wrong person, afraid to tell my friend, who would have understood. 

Have you ever made a problem out of nothing? This is about how small I feel right now.

Yet another opportunity for me to feel the weight of my weaknesses and catch a glimpse of the Grace of Christ.

These are the things of which He died for us.  Our impetuous words and thoughtless hearts. I'll never grasp the meaning of Grace, but it seems easier to do when I am feeling small. 

Here's a quote from Anne Lamott's book, Traveling Mercies, spoken to her when she was searching for Christ and trying to understand what he's done for humankind. The pastor at the church she came to told her this:

"I guess it's like discovering you're on the shelf of a pawnshop, dusty and forgotten and maybe not worth very much. But Jesus comes in and tells the pawnbroker, 'I'll take her place on the shelf. Let her go outside again.'"

I feel like I could use this space to complain about how hard it is for me to describe my feelings  but I think probably goes without saying to those who know me. If you don't, I'll tell you, it's hard for me.

Something to work on. Yes?